How family mediation works

Generally, three people are present at family mediation sessions: the two people who are separating and the mediator.

La place de l'enfant en médiation familiale (French only)
Source : Association des médiateurs familiaux du Québec

Family mediation sessions are generally used to help parties find common ground on the following topics:

• The division of money and property
• Spousal support (for married couples).

For couples with children, other issues may be added, for example:

• Choice of parenting schedule regarding custody
• Child support
• Choice of school where there is a move
• Decisions concerning medical treatments.

If you and your ex are unable to reach an agreement following the family mediation process, all discussions and all documents exchanged or written during mediation will remain confidential. This means that whatever happened during the sessions can’t be used later in court, unless all the participants agree.

The number of sessions needed depends on your personal situation, how many issues have to be resolved, or the approach taken by your mediator. For example, in Quebec, in 2016, couples with children needed an average of 5 hours and 6 minutes of family mediation to settle the various aspects of their separation.

Did you know?

In Quebec, couples who are separating have access to a program from the Ministère de la Justice du Québec that offers them:

• 5 hours of family mediation if they have children
• 3 hours of family mediation if they don't have children.

The duration of the sessions also varies from one mediator to another. Some mediators propose one-hour sessions, whereas others might prefer them to be longer or shorter. Please confirm with your mediator.

The mediator leads the discussions during the sessions. He or she is there to guide the negotiations and help you reach an agreement that suits everyone. However, the mediator can’t force you to reach an agreement.

Unlike a judge, the mediator can’t make any decisions for you. The mediator also can’t take sides or give you legal advice. If you need legal advice, you can consult a lawyer or a notary outside the sessions.

The mediator also ensures that discussions are respectful, that they take place in a safe environment, and that everyone has a clear understanding of the decisions made.

Finally, if the mediator believes that it is necessary, he or she may put an end to the family mediation process or postpone a session at any time. This can happen, for example, if one if the parties is trying to undermine the process or is in great psychological distress.